Wow. This is horrible, Holly. Lucky for you, unlike many women, you don’t need his income to survive. There is zero reason to continue in this relationship. It sounds like you’re living in two separate realities. It also sounds like you may have been kidding yourself for sometime now. Once the shock wears off, I suspect you’ll begin to realize that there were signs of his true feelings that you just didn’t pick up on. I read somewhere that once your partner begins to hold you in contempt, there’s no fixing the relationship.

Once you’re out of it, you can act on your interest in other sexual partners without having to navigate the minefield that open marriages often become. Wishing you all the best. (P.S. I’d take back the new phone. Let him figure out how to cope with the old one.)