Where my parents lived does not have a cafeteria. They have a dining room with china, cloth napkins, caring and attentive servers, and a view of the mountains that rivals many an upscale resort. They were at least 10 years older than you are when they went to live there. Some people had houses, others townhouses, and others apartments. If needed, they progressed to assisted living and nursing facilities. You asked people to share their experiences and that's what I was doing. I wasn't trying to talk you out of anything or to make assumptions about the community you're joining. Each place and each person is different. I hope your new home is everything you're hoping for.