When you are in a marriage, it helps to have common goals. Recently, due to my stomach surgery, I had to start eating less and moving more. I also had to stop drinking alcohol. I’ve lost weight and kept it off, in large part because I stopped drinking and walk more. (I’m over three months alcohol free.)

My husband has a more complicated approach to “healthy living.” He takes every vitamin and supplement under the sun, has a salad every day for lunch with a piece of fruit or bowl of berries, but he mainlines cheese in the evenings. He bought a Peleton with a pricey monthly subscription that he’s used maybe 4 times in 5 months.

So, he throws money at the problem and ignores the fact that he’s still obese. He sleeps a lot. Especially on the weekends. I’m worried about him. I’m also worried about me because life without him would be sad and hard. What would be worse is if he has a stroke or another disease that turns me into a full-time caregiver, sucking the joy out of whatever time I have left on this planet.