This is a terribly sad story, and I am sorry for what you and your family went through, but it is only one story. Not everyone stuffers from this disease in the same way. It’s important that people realize that it’s not a such a horror show for everyone who gets this diagnosis.

My father had Alzheimer’s for about 20 years but he was high functioning and had a good quality of life. He was only in a group home for about the last two years. The last time I saw him there, he didn’t know my name but he knew I was family. We sang a duet, played pool, and joked around. He hugged his grandson. His caregivers treated him with grace, kindness, and dignity. He never lost his sense of humor. He was never anything approaching a “zombie.”

What makes me furious is the dehumanizing language used to describe these sufferers. I get it. You’re angry and your experience was different from mine. Two of my grandparents, and several aunts and uncles died of Alzheimer’s. It’s never easy or pleasant, but I’ve witnessed many moments of joy and connection.

An Alzheimer’s patient is still the same person but they no longer behave in the same way. There can sometimes be moments of clarity that take your breath away. Again, each case is different. I hope you can work through your grief and get to a place of happy memories. I learned a lot about myself in the process.