Thanks for your thoughtful take on this issue, Nandini. A lot of those comments are people saying what they think they’re expected to say. It’s not necessarily what they’re thinking, or at least not everything they’re thinking. If they did that, they’d be opening a can of whoop ass on themselves.

Honesty in these situations is not the best policy. Ask anyone who’s ever answered yes to the question, “Do I look fat in this?” Especially if it’s after it’s too late to go home and change.

It’s like when someone shows you a picture of their baby. Despite what some would have you believe, all babies are not beautiful. My friends Rob and Harold are twins who grew into handsome men, but even they will admit they were the funniest-looking babies you ever saw. Nevertheless, I’m sure when their mother showed other people their baby pictures they oohed and ahhhed as if they were the Olsen twins. It’s what people do.

Now it’s expected when people who’ve been bullied about their weight, or anything else that might keep them off the cover of VOGUE, post photos of themselves on social media, that people fall in line and say something positive. In private, the nice ones think something like, “It’s a shame, she has such a pretty face.” The nasty ones say, well, something nasty.

If someone is really conflicted and can’t come up with a nice comment they can stand behind, there’s always an emoji. If I posted a picture that got five comments and 27 hug emojis, I’d get the message pretty quickly.

I don’t have an answer, but I’m skeptical that these social media attempts at changing attitudes forged over a lifetime of indoctrination to revere a certain standard of beauty will achieve much. People don’t evolve that quickly.