No, no, and no. He works remotely and can live anywhere and wants to buy his first home in San Diego? That’s nuts. The houses aren’t just expensive there, everything is. If he can’t afford the down payment, he can’t afford the house.

The Southern California housing market is notoriously unstable. Your “good deed” will saddle him with massive debt and that house could be worth less than he paid for it in two years. Then what?

There are many great places to live in the US where he can buy a house on his own and where the property taxes, insurance, and cost of living won’t put a huge financial strain on him. If you want to retire early, you will need every cent for yourself and your husband. Most people who do end up having to go back to work as it is.

Put on your own oxygen mask before helping your son. He’s an adult. Hard work and self-reliance, and yes, disappointment, come with the territory.