Interesting points, Linda. It doesn’t bother me when people say things like “they’re in a better place.” They’re trying to be kind. Maybe it’s clumsy and colored by their own feelings, but they’re reaching out. Nobody can know exactly what to say in these situations, because different people react differently to whatever is said to them. One thing I make it a point to do is to never judge someone else’s reaction to grief. It does bother me when they say nothing, though. That’s real denial. You show up somewhere the first time after everyone knows you lost someone and some people can’t even make eye contact. That hurts but it’s a problem they have that no doubt pains them more than it ever will me. When people close to me have died, the most comfort I got was when someone shared a good memory of the person with me. It’s wonderful to know they were appreciated and cared about by those beyond the immediate family. It lets me know they live on hearts other than mine. I find great comfort in that.