I won’t engage in either bashing you down or bolstering you up. That’s been pretty well covered. I do have some advice, though. I used to work for a divorce attorney in California and helped a close friend with an autistic child through a divorce. You are going to experience a drastic drop in income and may even find yourself applying for food stamps before long. The quickest path to poverty in the US is to get a divorce. Most importantly, do not go for any child support agreement for your autistic child that ends when he reaches a certain age. My friend’s daughter is pretty high functioning and was attending a special school my friend felt sure would prepare her for college and a job when she reached 18. It didn’t. I think she’s about 30 now and still living at home. My friend has to raid her retirement account to make ends meet, because her husband no longer provided support once their daughters graduated from high school. Her other daughter who was about 12 when they split got heavily into drugs. My friend spent a lot of money on her daughter’s addiction without success. By age 18, she was living in a drug house and soon thereafter became homeless. My friend rarely hears from her. Her ex-husband was an attorney, now comfortably retired, remarried, and enjoying frequent vacations to various international locations while my friend struggles to cover basic needs. My friend’s husband initiated their divorce on their 20th wedding anniversary. He had been going to S&M clubs and paying for sex on the sly for over 10 years while she raised their girls and took care of things at home. In a better world, he’d be the one living hand to mouth. Unfortunately, the world is harsh for most people. If I were you, I’d take a second look at that marriage and see if you can work things out. In spite of what a total creep my friend’s ex has been, she’d she’d take him back in a heart beat. Poverty has a way of changing your mind about what you’re willing to put up with. Good luck.