I think it’s been a shock to many to realize how many people out there struggle with gender issues. It shouldn’t be surprising that those who don’t are having trouble processing it. They grew up believing the world was one way and now they see that things they took for granted weren’t what they seemed.
In the 1970s when we began to hear about “sex change operations”, most people were surprised that anyone would want to do this. In those days, it was usually male to female and the results weren’t great. We’d also heard of gay people and some of us knew gay people, but as more and more people came out, it was surprising that there were so many. As I remember, there was more confusion and misunderstanding surrounding the issue than hostility.
There have always been bullies who prey on others. Red hair is enough of a reason for some to supply a beating. Humans have a marked capacity for cruelty. Unfortunately, that won’t go away and it’s a capacity within us no matter how we identify. No one group is all good or all bad.
People fear what they don’t understand and what they don’t understand makes them anxious and angry. Societal change takes time. Social media has given the illusion that it’s been accelerated, but we’re not all getting fed the same social media. You might be living in 2021, but your next door neighbor may still be comfortably ensconced in the past. Understanding and compassion works both ways and so do micro aggressions.
The overemphasis on our differences, what makes us special, has had untended consequences. I believe a better way is to focus on our collective humanity, our shared interests, and our common causes. What can we do for each other that we’d like someone to do for us?
Does your intersection need a stop sign? Are your property taxes too high? Circulate a petition. Show your neighbors that you have common ground upon which to build. Do you have extra produce from your garden to give away? Could the older person across the street use someone to shovel their walk? The next time it snows, whoever gets out there and shovels my walk is my new best friend. Fostering community takes work. If you’re not up for it, you can try moving but they’ll always be conflicts. Blessed are the peacemakers. Be one of those. It may help.
