I have a lot of experience with mental illness in my husband’s family, Lisa. It’s rough. Thankfully, there are some good new drugs available that can make a huge difference. My mother-in-law almost certainly was bipolar, as was her mother, but they never were diagnosed. My mother-in-law’s mother was horribly abusive, physically, and mentally. My mother-in-law was a handful, but at least she retained the capacity to love and care about family. My father had Alzheimer’s but he was high-functioning and very upbeat. There is a wide range of behavior no matter the diagnosis. I don’t imagine your mother will live much longer. I hope you are able to find some peace at last in going through this terrible time.