I have a couple of thoughts about the whole pronoun thing. First of all, it's unrealistic to expect people other than those closest to you to care what pronouns you use or to remember, especially when some people are apt to change them just when you got used to the old ones! People do what's easy and this is hard. Unless you plan to be intimate with someone, how you identify regarding gender is probably not something they're interested in.

Secondly, why do we need to know how others identify in ordinary situations? If you are interviewing someone for a job, repairing their car, or writing an article about pet food, what difference does it make to anyone other than you?

Finally, they/them is confusing. Do you mean they meaning Pat or they meaning Pat and Pat's partner? It's been an eye-opening experience, just as it was nearly 50 years ago when I began to realize how many people are gay, to learn how many people see themselves as non-binary. I had no idea.