I enjoyed your story. I don’t care for martinis myself, but I appreciate their mystique. The late San Francisco Chronicle columnist Herb Caen loved martinis. He claimed the perfect ratio of vermouth to gin could be obtained by using one of the old Hazel Atlas depression glass pitchers that was imprinted with a picture of Shirley Temple. (They came free in boxes of Weetabix cereal.) Caen said to simply pour “gin to the chin and vermouth to the tooth.” You can find them on eBay and Etsy if you want to try it. If you do, let me know if Caen’s method works for you.