How to Tell Your Need-to-Haves From Your Nice-to-Haves

All you need is love, now what else do you want?

Denise Shelton
5 min readJan 4, 2022


Photo by Steven Lasry on Unsplash

We hear it every day. Everybody’s talking about what they need. Sometimes I think we must be the neediest nation on Earth. We cite so many reasons why we need something, many of them good, others, not so much. Here are some examples people give of why we need what we think we do:

From our kids —

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“I need it, Mommy! Everyone else has one.”

“I need it for school.”

“I need it for practice.”

“I need it for the play.”

“I need it for the campout.”

“I need it for my friend.”

“I need it because… I just do!”

From our partners —

Photo by Andreas Nast on Unsplash

“I need it for work.”

“I need it for an idea I have.”

“I need it for the potluck.”

“I need it for Jane’s retirement party.”

“I need it for protection.”

“I need it to relax.”

From ourselves —

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“I need it to save my sanity.”

“I need it for my vacation.”

“I need it for self-care.”

“I need it to boost my self-esteem.”

“I need it to stay current.”

“I need it to attract a partner.”

“I need it to keep my job.”

From others —



Denise Shelton