Hey, Paul, those scammers are shameless!

But listen, I need some spending money for my trip to Ireland. You see, my sainted Irish grandmother died (in 1972) and didn’t leave me anything in her will. Three of my sisters went 5 years ago and didn’t invite me to come along, which really hurt my feelings. Plus, I’m applying for dual citizenship with Ireland, and I want to make a good impression by throwing a lot of money around when I make my first visit there in September. (Did I mention my grandmother died of cancer? That means I could, too.) Anyway, although I’ve already saved enough for the airfare and lodging in castles and stately homes, scraping enough together for gourmet restaurants and high-quality souvenirs has been a challenge. I also need to “build my brand” with my soon-to-be fellow citizens by buying rounds for the patrons of every bar I plan to visit, which is a lot. In case you think I can’t cut costs, I’ll actually be glamping on Inishmore one night (I know, it’s a sacrifice.) Anyway, since you’ve been making all that money freelancing, and I haven’t made anything except here on Medium, I think you owe it to me to fund my dream. I’m not greedy. I can get by with five or six thousand bucks. I hope I can rely on your empathy. (You so seldom can with men.) I would crowdfund, but those platforms take a huge percentage, so I’m making a direct request. I’ll email you my snail mail address so you know where to send the check. Thank you, so much! I’m sooooo grateful! You’ve no idea how hard it is to ask for help. 😢 P.S. Could you share this with all your followers? I’d hate to have to write a story outing you for being selfish and lacking in compassion. Thanks again! Medium is such a supportive community! I’m so blessed!